It's performance review time

`Tis the season for performance reviews. That time of year when we give, and get, evaluations of our annual performance. These annual rituals come with occasional joy and often a lot of shock.

In Radical Openness, there is a lesson on Learning from Corrective Feedback, which seems applicable to all those suffering through this season.

Criticism or feedback from another person is not truth but a belief held by the other person that may be true, partially true, or not true at all.

Ask the following twelve questions to help determine whether to accept or decline the feedback:

1. Does the person have more experience than I do in this area? YES/NO
2. Will accepting the feedback help maintain my relationship with the person giving me feedback? YES/NO
3. Will accepting the advice help me maintain or improve other important relationships? YES/NO
4. Am I discounting the feedback on purpose to displease or punish the person? YES/NO
5. If necessary, am I capable of making the changes that are being suggested? YES/NO
6. Will accepting the feedback help me steer clear of significant problems (for example, financial loss, employment difficulties, problems with the law)? YES/NO
7. Was the person providing the feedback using a calm and easy manner? YES/NO
8. Does the feedback refer to the actual situation I am in, as opposed to the past or future? YES/NO
9. Am I in a long term caring relationship with this person? YES/NO
10. Is the feedback I am being given something that I have heard from others before? YES/NO
11. Am I tense or frustrated about this feedback? YES/NO
12. Am I saying to myself, I know I am right, no matter what the other person says or how things seem? YES/NO

Total up the number of YES responses ... Then use the following key to guide [you] in deciding whether to accept or decline the feedback.

• 11 to 12 YES responses = accept the feedback as accurate and effective, no matter what
• 9 to 10 YES responses = accept the feedback as likely accurate and effective
• 7 to 8 YES responses = accept the feedback as possibly accurate and effective; continue to evaluate whether it is useful or true
• 5 to 6 YES responses = accept the feedback, but very tentatively
• 3 to 4 YES responses = tentatively decline the feedback, but with an open mind
• 1 to 2 YES responses = decline the feedback